With the need to date fast and find quick relationships, the
internet has taken on the role of a hook-up location.
Unfortunately, it is also a potential stalking ground for
relationship seeking gone awry.
There are some inherent problems with internet relationship
seeking. It is difficult to read body language, eye lingo, and
verbal pacing of sentences via email. One of the ways people can
keep themselves safe in dating relationships is to feel and
respond to their red flags. Red flags are greatly reduced by the
inability to see first hand someone’s immediate response to
statements or questions. Email, which is usually how people
first talk when met on the internet, impairs the ability to get
early insight into potential relationship problems.
People have created false senses of intimacy via internet
relationships. I know of one woman who met a man from Iran on
the internet and went there to marry him without ever having met
him in person. It was a disaster and hard for her to get back to
the states. He was nothing that he had represented himself as.
A false sense of relationship intimacy increases rapid personal
disclosure. The relationship connection with someone online
(that you have no idea if he is safe or not or who he says he
is) becomes privy to a bulimic-like purge of personal problems
and information. This is very common for women to rapidly
disclose and over disclose personal and historical information.
Dangerous and predatory men have stated that "women who rapidly
and overly disclose make my approach easy." Men who are not
highly verbal in person may be very verbal online and the woman
perceives this as ‘relationship,’ ‘connection,’ ‘knowledge about
the person,’ and ‘intimacy.’
The internet increases relationship fantasy—you can be whoever
you want to be with someone you aren’t sure you will ever meet.
The increase in non-credible information about someone is
significantly higher. People can lie about where they live,
their marriage status, previous relationship history, career,
appearance, or criminal history.
People who are unhappy in their marriage find internet
relationships to be the perceived escape out of misery they have
been seeking. Many are disappointed (or even horrified) to find
the relationship online is all fantasy and not much reality.
Women have left husbands for online men who never materialize.
When it comes to who the person is or what the relationship is,
they find it’s more about what the person has projected and
fantasized the relationship to be—not what it will become in the
future.
While it is unlikely that internet relationship seeking will
ever disappear, women need to understand the risks of internet
hook-ups and the ways it puts a woman at a distinct disadvantage
in reading body language and red flags.
For more information on dangerous relationships, see
www.HowToSpotADangerousMan.com
** This article is free to use as long as it is kept in its
original format without changes and includes the link listed
above.
About the Author: Sandra L. Brown, M.A. is an author and
psychotherapist who worked for the past 20 years with both
female victims of violence and male perpetrators. Her interest
of practice has been in the attraction between victim and
perpetrator. http://www.HowToSpotADangerousMan.com
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link:
http://www.isnare.com/?aid=97953&ca=Relationships
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